


Richard, Russel, Rolo

by Fixy



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Happy birthday D you talented thing, Restaurant fun, Waitress AU, ft RICHARD!, this is very au and very bisexual, waitressing, with our favourite ladies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:18:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22190134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fixy/pseuds/Fixy
Summary: Eve is on the worst date, but it just might end up the best.
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 55
Kudos: 617





	Richard, Russel, Rolo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emdash90](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emdash90/gifts).



> Happy belated birthday to D aka emdash90! :))) I luv ya, you talented bean! Everyone go read her fics after this. Trust me.

“-which is when I moved into the finance department, and-”

_ I need to get that laundry done tonight.  _

“-settled in pretty quickly, already knew some of the guys which was-”

_ If I get it in the machine before 9 I can put it on a quick wash and it’ll be done by 10. _

“-with my first presentation. Went off without a hitch, of course, they seemed really-”

_ I’ll put it all in the dryer and leave it there overnight, I can fold it tomorrow.  _

“-told me I was already set for the promotion route-”

_ I need to remember to pick up detergent tomorrow, I’ll be out soon. _

“-Eve?”

_ Shit _ . 

“Huh?”

“You still with me?”

“Sorry, uh… yeah, I am.”

The man, Richard, reaches for his beer. 

“Okay.” He says, voice clear in the surrounding restaurant clatter. “So, tell me more about what you do. Teacher, right?”

“Oh, uh,” Eve tries to get her head back on straight and focus, “no, I’m a lecturer.”

“Eh, same thing.” He says with a smile that he seems to think is charming, but just comes across smug. 

“I mean... not really, but, yeah, I head the criminology department at UCL.”

“So that’s, what, murderers and stuff? Like Dexter?”

_ Jesus _ .

“Not… not just that. It’s about the nature, causes, and consequences of criminal behaviour, and the management and prevention of it, not just for the individual but on social levels, too.”

“Oh.”

And that’s it. 

He doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t ask any questions or comment on what she’s told him. He just…drinks more of his beer, then checks his phone which he’s kept, screen up, on the table.

Christ, she’s going to kill Elena. She should have never let her friend talk her into getting Tinder, should have never let her decide on Eve’s first few swipes, should have never let her persuade her to go on this date with this arrogant,  _ boring _ man.

She takes a long sip of her wine while subtly checking her watch.

Half seven.

She’s only been on this god awful date for  _ fifteen minutes _ ? She’s suddenly very thankful that he was a quarter of an hour late, because any amount of time not spent with him is time well spent.

Fifteen minutes, and she already knows pretty much all she needs to know about him. Mostly because he has  _ not stopped talking _ .

This man, Ricky or.. Rick, or something, has got to be one of the dullest men Eve has ever spoken to, and not just in the sense that everything he spews out is completely uninteresting. He looks like any other middle aged businessman, in the same navy suit that she swears every single one of them wears. He’s cocky, with a smug air about him that has absolutely no right to be there, considering all he does is work in a bank.

Like, yeah, working in a bank seems fine, it’s a good job, in fact, but this guy talks about it like he’s high up in Mi6 or some shit, and Eve is already _so_ _done_ with his tone.

Normally she finds confidence hot, but when it’s coming from this guy, it’s a total repellant.

Maybe she can fake a phone call and get out of here, go home and take a bath and text Elena to inform her that she is never allowed to meddle in her love life again.

She’s reaching for her phone when she feels someone approach the table.

“Hello, my name is Villanelle and I will be your server for the evening.”

Eve glances towards the waitress with a tight smile, acknowledging her to be polite before turning back to her bag and-

Holy…

Holy  _ fuck _ .

Eve does a double take, the perfect imitation of a cartoon character minus the jaw on the literal floor, because their waitress is… she’s…

“Wow.”

“Wow? Wow what?” Her date asks, and Eve said it out loud, didn’t she.

She looks back to the waitress, the… the fucking  _ glorious _ waitress, and finds her staring at Eve with raised eyebrows, clearly amused. 

Eve clears her throat awkwardly.

“Nothing, uh,” she hurries to fill the quiet, “just, excited about the… food.”

Ricardo just stares at her, then nods once before flashing that definitely not charming smile at their waitress.

“Well, look at you.” He smiles. “Lucky us.”

Ah. A creep, too. Nice.

She’s going to kill Elena twice.

“Yes, lucky you.”

The waitress has an accent, European and crisp, and Eve guesses that it’s Russian, maybe. 

Better yet, her words are laced with a sarcasm that Ricky does not pick up on, if his widening smirk is anything to go by. But Eve does.

She hides her own smile behind her glass of wine, and catches the blonde’s eye.

“And lucky you,” she says directly to Eve, eyes widening dramatically, “getting to share a meal with this wonderful gentleman.”

And wow, the sass on this woman is something else.

Eve almost sprays wine everywhere from snorting as she goes to take a sip, and the waitress flashes her a knowing smile before turning back to the man, who is  _ still _ smirking as if the blonde is being sincere.

It’s baffling.

Eve needs to leave.

“Um, actually, I think I-”

“The specials tonight are venison with a pumpkin seed pesto, and dry aged Galloway beef fillet with glazed onions. Are you ready to order, or would you like a few more minutes?”

Eve scrambles to get a word in. 

“Wait, before-”

“Yeah, we’re ready.”

She sighs in defeat. 

Oh well, maybe she can at least get a free meal out of this disaster. 

Just as Eve goes to order, Richie speaks up. 

“I’ll get the roasted stuffed mushrooms to start, and then the duck for my main, and Eve will have-”

“I think Eve can choose for herself.”

Eve stares up at the waitress, Villanelle, and takes her in fully. Her blonde hair twisted into a bun, her high cheekbones, her wide set hazel eyes with freckles scattered around them; this woman was gorgeous, and was for _some reason_ swooping in to defend Eve’s rights as a woman. 

If only she was the one sat across from Eve. 

The night would be a lot more interesting, that’s for sure. 

“Sure, whatever, I’m just trying to be a gentleman.” Riley says with a smirk, and Eve has to force herself not to curl her hand into a fist where it rests by her wine glass. 

“More Chardonnay?”

“God, please.” Eve mumbles, not caring if Rory hears, but when she glances at him he’s looking at his phone again anyway. 

Villanelle gives her a wide eyed stare, an overly dramatic thing that has Eve’s lips twisting into a smile, as she pours wine from the bottle tucked into the table’s ice bucket. 

Eve orders her food and darts her gaze across the blonde’s face as she does so because holy cow, this woman should be a model or an actress or something, not working in some posh restaurant in London. 

She wants to ask her if she does anything else, if this is just a side job or if this is all Villanelle does. Maybe she’s studying, or maybe she has dreams of becoming a restaurant owner, or maybe she just really loves serving people food. Eve has just about convinced herself to ask, when Villanelle finishes writing. 

“Alright, your food will be here shortly. If there is anything else you need, please ask me.” 

“Where are you from?”

Judging from her expression, Villanelle hadn't expected Eve to ask her anything at all, let alone that completely unrelated question. 

Eve isn’t sure why she asked it either. 

“Russia.” The waitress replies with a small small and the lift of one naturally perfect eyebrow. “Where are  _ you _ from?” 

Rob hadn’t bothered asking that question at all, yet here this stranger is, this  _ Villanelle _ , asking her within minutes. 

“Here, actually, but I moved to Connecticut when I was young.”

“Ah, I like it there.”

“You’ve been?” Eve asks, feeling brighter by the second. “What did you go for?”

“I like to travel.” Villanelle replies, “I try to go somewhere new for a few weeks every six months. This year I’m-”

“Hey, ‘scuse me, can you give the kitchen our order? Some time today would be nice.”

Eve bristles. She wants to defend the blonde, but the waitress simply smiles sweetly in his direction. “Of course sir, my apologies.” And then she walks towards the back of the restaurant, Eve’s eyes glued to her retreating form. 

“Anyway, What was I talking about?”

She doesn’t bother hiding her sigh as she turns to him. 

“You were asking about my work.”

“Oh right. You’d finished though, hadn’t you? Let me tell you about this presentation we had last week, it was absolute jokes.”

Robbie’s voice immediately turns into a background hum and Eve turns to look towards the kitchen area again, and at the same moment Villanelle looks straight at her as she jots down the order for another table. 

Eve lets herself smile, forces herself not to look away awkwardly at having been caught. 

And Villanelle winks.

——

The starter is delicious. 

The conversation, less so. 

He just… has not  _ stopped _ . 

“So Dennis brought the boat around and you can imagine what happened then.”

Eve assumes it’ll be something to do with getting drunk. 

“We got absolutely bladdered, almost didn’t make it back to shore, it was mental.”

There we go. 

“Isn’t that dangerous?” Eve asks, frowning. Ryan just shrugs. 

“Who cares, was a top day, can't remember half of it but that’s the sign of a good time, isn’t it.”

It isn’t. 

“Sure.” Eve agrees. She knows her tone is bored but at this point she’s certain that this guy either doesn’t understand social cues, or just doesn’t care to read them. 

He nods at her response then spoons the last of his mushroom into his mouth. 

“So, what do you do for fun? A gorgeous lady like you must get up to a lot.”

It’s the first compliment he’s paid her, and it is completely and utterly unwelcome. 

Eve decides to answer him honestly, just for the fun of seeing the reaction she  _ knows _ she’ll get from him. 

“I like to read. I love fiction, but also love scientific journals. Do you like reading?”

“If it’s GQ, sure. Bit boring otherwise. I read sales reports all day at work, don’t fancy doing it at home.”

Eve smiles. Reading people is fun, too. 

“I also like movies.”

“Oh, I can relate there.” Russel says, puffing his chest out. “I’m a big film fan. Saw Dirty Grandpa twice at the cinema, fucking hilarious.”

Eve hasn’t seen it, but Elena had been dragged along to see it and had come back cursing Zac Efron, which was very alarming to all those who knew the woman. 

“I can’t say I’ve seen that.” Eve says. “I’m not that into blockbusters, unless it’s a superhero movie, I love those. Otherwise, I'm a big fan of indie stuff, movies that come out of film festivals, y’know? I saw Parasite a few weeks ago, it was  _ incredible _ .” 

“Parasite? Sounds cool, was it a horror? I love that shit.”

“Parasite was the best film of 2019, and was definitely not a horror.” 

Eve jumps a little in her seat as Villanelle speaks. She hadn’t even heard her approach the table. 

“You saw it too? Wasn’t it amazing?”

“Ugh, unbelievable.” Villanelle nods. “I want to see it again, I cannot wait for the DVD.”

“Why don’t you just download it?” Ron pipes up, a smug sort of amusement on his face, like he thinks Villanelle must never have heard of pirating movies before. “Much easier, and it’s free.”

“Because I do not want to deprive them of the money. It is a good film, it deserves to be paid for.”

“Suit yourself.” He huffs, raising his hands in defeat as Villanelle turns to face Eve again. 

“You like movies?”

“I love movies. And books.” Eve says enthusiastically . “Honestly, you could just lock me in a cabin in the wilderness with only books and a TV and a stack of DVDs, and I’d be happy as all heck.”

“I feel the same way!” Villanelle grins. “But I would not be able to do it alone. I would want someone to share the time with.”

_ I’ll share the time with you. _

Eve  _ would _ try to shut the desperate and, to be honest, smitten side of her brain off, if it wasn’t for the fact that she really doesn’t want to. 

A quick glance at Roger shows he’s staring at his phone and not paying any attention in the slightest to the women, so Eve turn back to the blonde with a smile. 

“What’s your favourite book?”

Villanelle scrunches her nose up as she thinks, and Eve’s smile grows wider at the sight. 

“‘The Shining’.”

“What?” Eve splutters, then widens her eyes in regret. “Sorry, sorry! I just didn’t expect that. Why ‘The Shining’?”

Villanelle rolls her eyes at Eve’s reaction but continues to smile, settling Eve’s sudden spike of nerves. 

“Because it scared me.”

Eve waits for her to continue but Villanelle says nothing else.

“That’s all? I mean, I agree, it is fucking spooky, but is that the only reason?”

Villanelle’s smile settles into something a little calmer, and Eve finds herself relaxing in response. 

“I do not get scared . That book is the only thing that has ever scared me, and for that I am thankful. It is nice to feel something new.”

“Wow.” Eve says, mouth a little agape. “That’s.. I’m sorry for scoffing.”

“Oh do not worry,” Villanelle waves a hand, “it is an obscure reason. What is your favourite?”

“Definitely ‘The Five People You Meet In Heaven’,” Eve replies confidently, “no other book has ever made me feel more secure in my choices.”

Villanelle is nodding along with Eve. 

“Yes,” she agrees, “it makes you feel as though your decisions are not the be all and end all. Making a mistake or the wrong choice is okay, it happens, but we must learn from them. They make up who we are and affect those around us, so learning is crucial.”

“That is exactly it.”

Staring up at Villanelle, Eve feels something flutter in her chest, light and soft, and Villanelle’s own eyes seem to sparkle with something. They keep their eyes locked, both with growing smiles, until the clearing of a throat has them breaking apart. 

“Do you two know each other or something?” Radley asks, finger pointing between the two. 

“Unfortunately not.” 

Eve flushes at Villanelle’s words, while Rambo just shrugs dismissively, somehow still not seeing anything beyond his own sense of self.

“Alright.” He says. “Are our mains almost ready, mate?”

“Yes, they are, I will just clear your plates away. My apologies, I got… distracted.” 

Villanelle stares straight at Eve then, tongue rolling the  _ r _ in  _ distracted _ beautifully, and Eve all but melts into her chair. 

“Well,” Eve all but sighs like some swooning teenager, “I certainly don’t mind.”

Villanelle bites her lip, doing nothing to halt her grin. Hazel eyes glitter and darken, and Eve is lost. 

She needs to pluck up the courage to ask this woman for her number or instagram or something, because this feels important, feels  _ big _ in a way Eve can’t place or explain. 

She’s suddenly hyper aware of how she might look right now. Not a lot of effort had gone into getting ready for this date, and although she has one of her nicest dresses on, Eve isn’t totally sure how her hair is looking right now after her brisk walk to the restaurant. 

“I’m just going to use the restroom.” Eve excuses herself. “I’ll be right back.”

“Uh huh.” 

Now Romeo seems to be the bored one, while Eve has maybe never had a better time on a date. 

She can’t help glancing over her shoulder as she walks away from the table, and she marks it as a win when she catches the blonde’s gaze fixed on her hips. 

——

In the bathroom, Eve fluffs her hair up and runs her fingers through her fringe, twisting it carefully until it sits how she likes it. She dabs on more lipstick and adjusts her dress a little, and even reaches into her bra to try and push her boobs a little closer together to create some cleavage above the low neckline of her dress. 

Okay. 

She looks good. 

She washes her hands for good measure and heads out of the bathroom, of course walking _straight_ into Villanelle. 

“Woah.” Villanelle gasps, hands on Eve’s upper arms to steady her, skin smooth and warm where they touch. “Are you okay?”

“I’m… I’m fine. Are, are you fine?” 

Nice. 

“I am fine.” Villanelle says with a small laugh, slowly removing her hands. 

Fingertips brush Eve’s shoulders as she goes. 

Eve is certain it’s on purpose. 

“Is that man your boyfriend?”

Eve is surprised at the question, and stands with her mouth open for a moment before snapping it shut and widening her eyes. 

“No, Jesus Christ no, he’s a tinder date, an awful one at that.”

The poorly masked relief on Villanelle’s face would be laughable if it wasn’t setting those butterflies off inside Eve’s stomach again. 

“Oh, okay. Cool.”

‘Cool’ sounds so strange in her accent, and Eve finds she loves it. She wants to hear every word said in those crisp tones, in that husky voice. She could sit for hours listening to Villanelle read the dictionary, she’s sure of it. 

Eve straightens her shoulders. 

“Why do you ask?”

“Because he seems like an arsehole.”

Eve bursts out laughing, drawing the attention of the surrounding tables. 

“Fuck, he really is an arsehole. What a mistake.”

“Aha,” Villanelle says with a crooked smile, “mistakes happen. You just have to learn from them.”

There’s a hidden message there.

Eve thinks she’s found it. 

“Would you like to have dinner with me?”

There. She’s said it. Eve has asked the question. 

Villanelle stares at her and says nothing, and each second that ticks by has Eve starting to doubt herself. Had she read it wrong? Was  _ this _ the mistake? Had it all been in her head, desperate to imagine anything other than dinner with Ronaldo? Fuck.  _ Fuck _ . 

“I was going to ask you that.”

Relief floods Eve at Villanelle’s cocky reply, filling her lungs with golden light, and she can’t control her grin. 

“Well, I beat you to it. So,” she asks, smile still wide, “when is good for you?”

“How about now? My shift ends in twenty minutes.”

The butterflies flap harder, fighting to get free in no doubt some sort of Disney melody, if how Eve is feeling is anything to go by. 

“Sure, yeah, okay! Just let me go tell Rolo that I’m-”

“Oh, Eve, he left while you were in the bathroom.”

_ What? _

“What?” 

“Yes. Um, he left, and told me to tell you that he is an interesting man who most women would want to pay attention too.” And then Villanelle smirks. “Then he asked me if I wanted to be one of those women.”

“Oh my god,” Eve scoffs in disbelief, then laughs, “what did you say?”

“I said I was more interested in dating his date than I was in dating him.”

It hits Eve square in the chest, even though Villanelle has already agreed to dinner. She reaches a hand out and touches the back of Villanelle’s wrist softly. 

“Well, want to join me for our main meals in twenty?”

“I would like that very much, Eve.” Villanelle smiles. 

And as Eve heads back to her table, watching Villanelle walk towards the kitchen, Eve realises she needs to send a text. 

She sits and grabs her phone from her bag.

Eve: Elena, remind me to thank you later. This date might be the best thing that’s happened to me in years. 

The reply is immediate. 

_ Elena: omg, is he lovely?? I knew you’d hit it off.  _

Eve laughs, and looks across the restaurant to see Villanelle quietly talking with another waitress and gesturing towards Eve, who smiles back and waves. Villanelle waves too, and the other waitress elbows her teasingly in the ribs. 

Looking back at her phone, she sends one last text. 

Eve: No, he fucking sucked. The waitress, on the other hand…

She drops her phone back into her bag despite it buzzing furiously, and smiles. 

Thanks, Richard. 


End file.
